I just wanted to let some stress off of my chest. My mother has really disappointed me for the last time... I can't hurt like this anymore...
I can't believe you would do this to me. You are suppose to be there for me you are suppose to be here in my time of need instead you mock me, you lie to me, you use me.
Why? I have done everything so you can love me but you still don't love me why? What more can I do for you to love me? I can't seem to never make you happy nor love me...
why do you hate me? you sat back and watch me and my sisters get beat till we couldnt move, you would leave for days on end so you could chase after some dude while we sat home with no food. You left us to fend for our selves while you made sure you ate everyday. You let strange me hurt me because you were looking for love. You who should have protected me but you were lost and looking for love. I will never forget the beats, you eating in front of us while we were hungry. you making us walk to school in snow up to our knee caps while you stayed home and slept because you didnt feel like getting cold. I remember so many things so much
Why? you've done so much more to us why? after all you've done I still loved you I still tried to justify your actions to everybody when people talked about you beating us and leaving us dirty and not combing our hair i had your when people say why do you still talk to your mom she is horrible I have your back why momma, But you never have mine in fact you are the cause of a lot the gossip that goes around about me why can't you love me? why can't you be there for me?
why? I just wanted you to be there to tell me you love me just once but instead you let me know everyday that I was a fuck up, that I would never amount to shit and how you wish you never had us why? can't you be here when I'm in so much pain, I call at your name when I'm hurting but I know you will never be there to hear my cry you will never be here to help me through this pain.
You told me only the weak cry and that I'm a weak woman for crying but it hurts. I need you so bad but you turn your back to me, I have no one everyone has betrayed me I''m all alone in dealing with this pain it hurts everyday.Everyday I'm reminded of how you will never wipe my tears away or be here for me. Do you know I cried out for you while I was in the hospital? I was so scared during my surgery I just wanted to hear you voice I just wanted you to tell me it would be okay when I couldn't walk I wanted you to wipe my tears and tell me I can make it, but now I know I can do this without you I got through all these things without you but this wound will never leave it will never heal in the end I'm still a little girl who cries out for her mother who wants her mother to be there for her... The pain will never go away
