Somewhere I belong...
Nothingness. '-things' things. Finding something in nothing. Calmness. Changes with no fears (…?…!). Falling asleep in calm. At last.
(LIT – Lyrics Inspired Texts – Part 6th) Written in busy time...
What do we call ‘the start’? What is the start? Let’s try to answer these questions. Start is something, which makes things, people, feelings…begin. Which makes them begin and last – to the end. The end is opposite of the start. Seemingly. Seemingly – nothing has only one side, because everything can change into lies. Because of…people. Because of us. Is that mean, we’re bad…? No - nothing has only one side.
Are we ‘nothing’, being people? Question of truth – but everything is something. And we judge something only after seeing it (although receiving is more that seeing…). Let’s imagine the thing, we use in life, commonly – we’ll judge, is it useful, nice, et cetera, after seeing the most visible part of it.
And now we can talk about beginnings.
Everything has its beginning. Start. Every feeling, too. Sometimes, because of our environment and experiences (or: lack of experiences) we can’t control it, we’ve got nothing to say; we look, how our inside is getting empty. When we got some balance, we try to look for the rest of the things we had, we left behind (being sure, they’re still there)…and we get lost in the nothingness.
Confusing place – our minds. Just like we’re unknown for ourselves. We try to let it go, throw away (but, is there something to take to throw…? is there anything…?). Sometimes, spread the world – looking for advice, answers…
The first thing is, we aren’t only ones, who feel it. But the explanation comes fast – we’re not the only ones, but we’re alone. Alone with those feelings. So that’s why everyone calls the nothingness a bad feeling… We’ve got the vacancy of words. Lack of explanations. That’s the kind of nothingness, too.
And we notice, we’re empty. We haven’t done something, what can bring us to be fulfilled. We’ve got nothing, so are we nothing…?
We’ve got nothing? That’s great! Because we’ve got nothing – to lose.
No, no we aren’t nothing. Because nothingness inside makes us feel stuck. Hollow. So, we are stuck. We are hollow. Not nothing, but alone.
Who’s guilty? What a question. We feel it… We are.
So we try to leave this fault behind. We want to feel SOMETHING, not nothing at last. Before we notice it, before we receive…discover the nothingness and being with her (so alone), everything, we think, feel and do…isn’t real. Because it’s not full of itself – everything has more sides, than we think, it has. Nothingness – too.
Are we anything, when we don’t know all of our sides?! Are we real?!
We have to heal these wounds, let go the pain, we’ve held inside – to don’t become pain. We have to do it, before it’s gone – because, if it’s gone, it would become a part of us. Now we’re closer to be real…to feel something real… Dreams.
We wanted it all along. Hidden dreams of…everyone. Looking and finding a place, feeling, person, activity…something. Someone. Somewhere. Somewhere we belong.
That was one of the parts of our life’s journey. One of the most difficult. We’ve just come through it. With no permission? Yes. We’ve had nothing to say, we’ve just come through our own thoughts, it has happened…! Hard to believe, we’re all safe in the same places, we’ve been before – we haven’t fallen on our faces, we’re alive and, maybe stronger, fuller of a some brand of will (?). But…not many things has changed. We’re still the same…we haven’t changed anything. Yet. Now, we’ve got a choice.
Oh. The next trouble. We can’t choose, that’s too much for us… We have to stop in this point of our journey. Helplessness. We haven’t imagined it like that, have we? It has to be better…and it is…not… That’s the proof, we don’t know ourselves. So, are we anything, again?! Yes. Just like before. Nothingness means, nothing to lose. Nothing to lose, (usually) means, nothing to gain – because we’ve got nothing to exchange, to pay back.
It can make us angry, we can’t justify, that everyone is against us, everyone’s looking at us…like we owe them something, like we are guilty, like we are worse… Why nobody believes, why nobody listens to it…?!
Maybe that is true…we are guilty, worse…
We want to feel, it’s not true, we want to heal the fear, the cut sanity, and mind. Thinking, that this pain, maybe, isn’t real, too…? Because of this thought, we let it go, erase – in a good way…or, we just try to. Yes, now we’re closer to reality. Real reality, not reality, we live in. As we all want to find a place, we belong.
For the next (last?) time – ARE WE NOTHING? Because we don’t know, who are we, what are we, is that the reason…? Yes, it is. But we’ll never know ourselves – until we can find it out on our own, until we do it alone, with no help. No regret… We won’t feel anything but nothingness, before we heal these wounds from the past, before we face the world again.
We won’t be anything, until we break away from our past and from ourselves, before we know, what we want to be – not, what we don’t want to…
We are nothing…? Sometimes. The question is, to erase these times and become anything…no! Not anything. Something. Someone.
So, we have to break away now. Difficult? No! We will break away, so we’ll find ourselves, we’ll know, who we are, we’ll be someone! Today. Now!
Healing ourselves…
Needing a feeling, like we’re somewhere, we belong.
What’s the problem now? No problems. We’ve found ourselves, we know ourselves, so…we know, where we want to belong.
We are there.
We’re somewhere, we belong. Here. Where we can change...nothing, anything, something.
Somewhere I belong…
