Sat, October 28, 2017 at 11:35 PMshadowpunk93

On top of getting to view the live stream of the Celebration of Chester's Life concert last night, it was nice to be able to re-watch it today with a clearer mind. Last night, I cried so much that I kept spacing out and forgetting where I was. It was very surreal. Chester should be on that stage. There was a strange emptiness in the room when I watched it. Just like the song Mike had started to write when he was in his studio alone a few days after finding out about Chester's passing. There is a void, and it doesn't feel real. Even now. Today. 3 months and 8 days after his passing, it is still hard.

Yet, I watched it again today, and I found myself remembering the lyrics. Singing the songs with a passion I had not felt in a very long time. Singing the pain away versus letting the words destroy me like they did the night before. Singing even after the concert had ended for the second time for me. I felt renewed. I felt like myself, and it reminded me of my passions that I had once had. There was so much beauty and heartache with each artist and friend who got on that stage and either spoke or performed. Talinda surprises me with her strength, and I am so proud of her and what she is shooting to accomplish. 

The concert truly spoke volumes to me, and had I not already requested for a vacation two weeks before he had passed, I would have been there. However, I have never been to a Linkin Park concert, but seeing them live, it felt like I was there. I loved that opportunity, and I honestly wish I could have hugged everyone. "When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind."

Stay strong, soldiers. Fuck depression, and make Chester proud. <3